Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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