I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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