I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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