so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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