No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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