grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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