I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
