Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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