Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
