just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
