she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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