There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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