i think my tv is drunk
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
