At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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