look no pants
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
