is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
