Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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