Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
