If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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