Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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