i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
