Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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