sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
