At least make sure they are 18
Why
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
