worst night to have a conscience
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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