i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
