does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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