Already got asked if we're dating
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
