eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
