Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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