its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This toilet bowl is my home.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
