I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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