thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
