TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
there is puke in my bra ... again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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