guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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