God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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