i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
