i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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