Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
