New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
