who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Everclear isn't food dammit
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
