im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
