Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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