I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
