OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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