dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Someone shattered a urinal.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
