So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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