I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
