wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
