I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
