she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
