We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
