I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
