Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
