69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
